After over seven years of living with pain, I was finally invited to tell my story by a health professional. I was so surprised I didn't know what to say! And was equally surprised by the story I told
Validation is huge. Having the experience of knowing, feeling that our thoughts are not wrong, but it is our story, what we tell ourselves, the limits we place on ourselves (often because they are limits also set on us by others who we think they should know what they are talking about) that sets up our lived experience. Love the quote!
Thanks so much for this, Amber! Those limits set by others, that we then internalize, happen on so many levels, too. It was so valuable for me to make those limits explicit so I could see them, so that I could also push against them and see what happened. I think what Pete gave me more than anything was curiosity and the daring and confidence to experiment. To not be constrained by the story I was telling myself but instead be curious about it and how it could/would change. I'd become pretty rigid in my thinking and had so many rules for myself I didn't even know I had. Rules often first handed down by others!
Thanks for giving me some things to ponder. And thanks for being here and taking the time to comment!
Thank so much for this! It reminds me of the first time, after 8 years, a doctor finally asked me about how I felt about my chronic pain. It shook me to my core and catapulted me to start to change how I perceive my pain journey.
"How can we understand pain in a way that makes biological and biographical sense?" - THIS! That is the question isn't it. A wonderful post as always. Keep sharing your thoughts I always feel more validated and whole as a person reading. I always want to hear people's stories and listen if and when they are up to sharing their story. I'm going to have to read the book you are currently reading. Do you have a list of your favorite books and articles complied somewhere? I'm about to start The Absent Body. Have you read this?
Your ongoing support and encouragement lifts me up, Dorota, thank you! What a wonderful compliment to receive that my writing helps you feel more validated and whole as a person. I have not read The Absent Body but I'm about to go look it up! I have not compiled a list of my favorite books or articles, but that's a great idea. I sneak some of them into posts but having them all in one place would be good for me as well! Thanks for the idea.
As for recent favorites, I just finished reading Tommy Orange's Wandering Stars. It is fiction, but speaks truth to the human experience in ways no non-fiction book ever could. A quote that has stuck with me is 'A bad thing doesn't stop happening to you just because it stops happening to you.' That speaks to trauma better than anything else I've ever read.
Thank you for sharing this! I love hearing your insights.
I'm a new physio with a vested interest in managing chronic pain better with people and you have already taught me so much. I'm a big fan of Pete O'Sullivan's work too, so it's wonderful to hear about your takeaways.
Hi Bronagh! Thank you for reading and for taking the time to leave a comment. I really appreciate your kind words, too, it means so much to me to hear. As you can tell, I'm a huge fan of Pete, too! I was fortunate to get to see him recently at the New Zealand Pain Society annual meeting. His approach to pain care is one I'm a huge champion of! Thanks for being here, and please keep engaging! I'd love to hear your thoughts and perspectives as a a new physio.
Nice. I agree with what you said about validation; that people don't have to agree in order to listen to someone and connect. Look out the window and the political left and right hate each other and are not listening to each other.
I'm also afraid to make my body worse. It sucks. I know my physical pain is the result of emotional, unconscious, anxiety & resentment. And it's not something any doctor or physio can do anything about. Yoga, pilates, and hard core weights help somewhat but are limited. It's like walking on eggshells all the time.
The worst part is that I love to train, and haven't been able to in awhile - years. It's my body telling me to pay attention to something more important first (emotions). I avoided it for so long. Actually I didn't even know the issue was there. Once I did it took me years to figure out what it was. And now I'm trying to face it head on to get even more clarity and awareness. It all takes time which is unfortunate, but my emotions insist I attend to them first.
But it was good to read that you could likely do more than you think. I have to remind myself of that too. I believe this as well about myself. I'm off to squat 500 :) ... or maybe bodyweight for reps for the moment.
Thanks so much for sharing a bit of your own story, japples. I'm so grateful for your message here. I can relate to what you've shared, perhaps especially the emotional aspects of pain, including anxiety and resentment. Those were (are!) big ones for me, too. For the longest time I felt like I was in the darkness, but was not ready to sit in my own dark corners and look at what was there. There are still many dark corners I haven't yet explored, but I'm kinder and gentler with myself now that I've faced some of it. And facing it is so much easier when I know there are others out there who get it, who have walked or are walking similar paths. Not being alone is the greatest gift blogging has given me!
I also relate to loving to train! I was a total gym rat for a lot of years, and that all ended with pain. And every time I tried to get back to it I was just not successful, for the last 14 years! (Not continuously, very off and on and mostly off). But I just recently started easing back into weight training again, and it feels good this time. Maybe it's because I'm older, but it seems easier now not to compare my current self to my former self, and that makes being a beginner again more exciting and fun, rather than a source of anger and frustration like in past attempts. I'm still not in the gym, just doing home workouts, but I love it again and that alone is enough!
We CAN do more than we think. We're strong, capabl, badasses. And you've motivated me to some bodyweight for reps today too. Thanks so much for being here, and for communing with me. It's community I value more than anything.
Yeah we sound very similar - 20 years for me. I found you through the OS bodcast on Youtube with Tim Anderson. His book "Pressing Reset" is interesting. He has a new, unique way of healing the body and working out. Many of the exercises (almost all) are free on his channel. I'll keep reading your posts, thanks for them.
Validation is huge. Having the experience of knowing, feeling that our thoughts are not wrong, but it is our story, what we tell ourselves, the limits we place on ourselves (often because they are limits also set on us by others who we think they should know what they are talking about) that sets up our lived experience. Love the quote!
Thanks so much for this, Amber! Those limits set by others, that we then internalize, happen on so many levels, too. It was so valuable for me to make those limits explicit so I could see them, so that I could also push against them and see what happened. I think what Pete gave me more than anything was curiosity and the daring and confidence to experiment. To not be constrained by the story I was telling myself but instead be curious about it and how it could/would change. I'd become pretty rigid in my thinking and had so many rules for myself I didn't even know I had. Rules often first handed down by others!
Thanks for giving me some things to ponder. And thanks for being here and taking the time to comment!
Thank so much for this! It reminds me of the first time, after 8 years, a doctor finally asked me about how I felt about my chronic pain. It shook me to my core and catapulted me to start to change how I perceive my pain journey.
Thank you for sharing, Mara!
"How can we understand pain in a way that makes biological and biographical sense?" - THIS! That is the question isn't it. A wonderful post as always. Keep sharing your thoughts I always feel more validated and whole as a person reading. I always want to hear people's stories and listen if and when they are up to sharing their story. I'm going to have to read the book you are currently reading. Do you have a list of your favorite books and articles complied somewhere? I'm about to start The Absent Body. Have you read this?
Your ongoing support and encouragement lifts me up, Dorota, thank you! What a wonderful compliment to receive that my writing helps you feel more validated and whole as a person. I have not read The Absent Body but I'm about to go look it up! I have not compiled a list of my favorite books or articles, but that's a great idea. I sneak some of them into posts but having them all in one place would be good for me as well! Thanks for the idea.
As for recent favorites, I just finished reading Tommy Orange's Wandering Stars. It is fiction, but speaks truth to the human experience in ways no non-fiction book ever could. A quote that has stuck with me is 'A bad thing doesn't stop happening to you just because it stops happening to you.' That speaks to trauma better than anything else I've ever read.
Hi Jo,
Thank you for sharing this! I love hearing your insights.
I'm a new physio with a vested interest in managing chronic pain better with people and you have already taught me so much. I'm a big fan of Pete O'Sullivan's work too, so it's wonderful to hear about your takeaways.
Bronagh
Hi Bronagh! Thank you for reading and for taking the time to leave a comment. I really appreciate your kind words, too, it means so much to me to hear. As you can tell, I'm a huge fan of Pete, too! I was fortunate to get to see him recently at the New Zealand Pain Society annual meeting. His approach to pain care is one I'm a huge champion of! Thanks for being here, and please keep engaging! I'd love to hear your thoughts and perspectives as a a new physio.
Nice. I agree with what you said about validation; that people don't have to agree in order to listen to someone and connect. Look out the window and the political left and right hate each other and are not listening to each other.
I'm also afraid to make my body worse. It sucks. I know my physical pain is the result of emotional, unconscious, anxiety & resentment. And it's not something any doctor or physio can do anything about. Yoga, pilates, and hard core weights help somewhat but are limited. It's like walking on eggshells all the time.
The worst part is that I love to train, and haven't been able to in awhile - years. It's my body telling me to pay attention to something more important first (emotions). I avoided it for so long. Actually I didn't even know the issue was there. Once I did it took me years to figure out what it was. And now I'm trying to face it head on to get even more clarity and awareness. It all takes time which is unfortunate, but my emotions insist I attend to them first.
But it was good to read that you could likely do more than you think. I have to remind myself of that too. I believe this as well about myself. I'm off to squat 500 :) ... or maybe bodyweight for reps for the moment.
Thanks so much for sharing a bit of your own story, japples. I'm so grateful for your message here. I can relate to what you've shared, perhaps especially the emotional aspects of pain, including anxiety and resentment. Those were (are!) big ones for me, too. For the longest time I felt like I was in the darkness, but was not ready to sit in my own dark corners and look at what was there. There are still many dark corners I haven't yet explored, but I'm kinder and gentler with myself now that I've faced some of it. And facing it is so much easier when I know there are others out there who get it, who have walked or are walking similar paths. Not being alone is the greatest gift blogging has given me!
I also relate to loving to train! I was a total gym rat for a lot of years, and that all ended with pain. And every time I tried to get back to it I was just not successful, for the last 14 years! (Not continuously, very off and on and mostly off). But I just recently started easing back into weight training again, and it feels good this time. Maybe it's because I'm older, but it seems easier now not to compare my current self to my former self, and that makes being a beginner again more exciting and fun, rather than a source of anger and frustration like in past attempts. I'm still not in the gym, just doing home workouts, but I love it again and that alone is enough!
We CAN do more than we think. We're strong, capabl, badasses. And you've motivated me to some bodyweight for reps today too. Thanks so much for being here, and for communing with me. It's community I value more than anything.
Yeah we sound very similar - 20 years for me. I found you through the OS bodcast on Youtube with Tim Anderson. His book "Pressing Reset" is interesting. He has a new, unique way of healing the body and working out. Many of the exercises (almost all) are free on his channel. I'll keep reading your posts, thanks for them.
Chatting with Tim was great! Glad you found me there ☺️ Thanks for being here!