Thank you for your blog, Joletta. I found you googling, and your story is so similar to mine: On a climbing session I moved weird and got a minor hip injury, that didn't respond to physiotherapy and developed into chronic pain. The scans show really minor scarring that isn't in sync with the pain.
My journey is different in that I came across modern pain science really early on. The knowledge unfortunately didn't cause a breakthrough in my pain experience the way it did for you and for many other people. Maybe the timing was wrong? (But I'm prone to overthinking, and focussing on getting everything right in order to get out of this maze often isn't helpful.)
Why did this get chronic? I've had my share of injuries, and they all cleared up eventually. Was it because I felt socially isolated and distressed when I couldn't do any of my favourite sports? Because I googled my injury too much? Did too much psysiotherapy? Too little? Does it even matter, since I can't go back and change anything?
But I'm moving. I'm on the climbing wall again, I bike, I can walk up to an hour without flaring up too much. I tell myself there's nothing wrong with my body, and that my alarm system is just overprotective.
Your journey out of the fog of pain and back into life is a source of hope for me!
I'm so glad you found me, Esta! Thanks so much for sharing of your own experiences, which are indeed so similar. I am also an overthinker who wants to get everything right! And have asked myself so many similar questions. Was what I needed rest, when instead I kept pushing, kept working, kept working out? Did I push too hard too soon after surgery?
I keep coming back to your question, does it even matter, since I can't go back? I think one of the things that helped me the most was no longer trying to figure it all out. Not what went wrong, or what was going right, or what actually helped compared to what I thought was helping. Embracing the uncertainty of it all is friggin' hard, and also freeing in many ways.
I think sometimes the way I tell my story I make it sound like I learned of pain science and was immediately changed by it, but that wasn't the case at all. My pain stayed the same for a really long time, it was just my life getting bigger around that was the big change. And eventually, as life got bigger, the pain didn't play such a central role anymore.
Now, when I look back over my whole trajectory, I wonder how much learning pain science actually did help. I'm sure it helped, but maybe not to the extent I attributed to it in my writings and presentations ten years ago. I had medically retired during that timeframe (because things had become pretty adversarial at work), too, and had extricated myself from the adversarial and harmful worker's compensation system. Just not being under that toxic load of stress probably did me a world of good. We also moved to Colorado, which was an incredibly restorative environment for me. I started playing outside more, being in nature more, reading about things other than pain more - all those things played a major role in my recovery (not being pain free, just being 'better' as I define it).
Pain science certainly helped make all that possible, though, as I wasn't as worried that I was destroying my hip through movement, so it's impossible to say what elements helped and to what extent! Trying to figure it all out can drive one mad.
All that to say, I think you are on a good path right now. You are strong, adaptable, resilient. Keep doing things that bring you joy. The fog will keep lifting, and you will get back to a life you love and enjoy.
I'd love to stay in touch, to hear how you're doing. And thanks again so much for finding me and for sharing some of your own story!
Thank you for this kind and generous share. The ability to get curious and explore different options for care is crucial, I think. As a physical therapist, it is vital for me to listen and see the whole person. You are not just your hip, but I can’t tell how embarrassed I am to admit that I have lost sight of the human in front of me and seen only their hip far more times than I care to recount. This is a gentle reminder for me to listen, collaborate and use my skills for good.
What a wonderful comment to read this morning, Sharon! Thanks so much for taking the time to share your thoughts and experiences. I'm so happy the post can serve as a gentle reminder, and also want to remind you to be kind and gracious with yourself, too. We all lose sight of the humans in front of us at times, or don't have the capacity to get curious in particular moments, but as long as we can keep bringing ourselves back to our common humanity, our curiosity, and our ability to use our skills for good, we're doing pretty damn good.
Thanks again for sharing here, it's comments and discussion like this that keeps me in this game!
Thank you for your blog, Joletta. I found you googling, and your story is so similar to mine: On a climbing session I moved weird and got a minor hip injury, that didn't respond to physiotherapy and developed into chronic pain. The scans show really minor scarring that isn't in sync with the pain.
My journey is different in that I came across modern pain science really early on. The knowledge unfortunately didn't cause a breakthrough in my pain experience the way it did for you and for many other people. Maybe the timing was wrong? (But I'm prone to overthinking, and focussing on getting everything right in order to get out of this maze often isn't helpful.)
Why did this get chronic? I've had my share of injuries, and they all cleared up eventually. Was it because I felt socially isolated and distressed when I couldn't do any of my favourite sports? Because I googled my injury too much? Did too much psysiotherapy? Too little? Does it even matter, since I can't go back and change anything?
But I'm moving. I'm on the climbing wall again, I bike, I can walk up to an hour without flaring up too much. I tell myself there's nothing wrong with my body, and that my alarm system is just overprotective.
Your journey out of the fog of pain and back into life is a source of hope for me!
I'm so glad you found me, Esta! Thanks so much for sharing of your own experiences, which are indeed so similar. I am also an overthinker who wants to get everything right! And have asked myself so many similar questions. Was what I needed rest, when instead I kept pushing, kept working, kept working out? Did I push too hard too soon after surgery?
I keep coming back to your question, does it even matter, since I can't go back? I think one of the things that helped me the most was no longer trying to figure it all out. Not what went wrong, or what was going right, or what actually helped compared to what I thought was helping. Embracing the uncertainty of it all is friggin' hard, and also freeing in many ways.
I think sometimes the way I tell my story I make it sound like I learned of pain science and was immediately changed by it, but that wasn't the case at all. My pain stayed the same for a really long time, it was just my life getting bigger around that was the big change. And eventually, as life got bigger, the pain didn't play such a central role anymore.
Now, when I look back over my whole trajectory, I wonder how much learning pain science actually did help. I'm sure it helped, but maybe not to the extent I attributed to it in my writings and presentations ten years ago. I had medically retired during that timeframe (because things had become pretty adversarial at work), too, and had extricated myself from the adversarial and harmful worker's compensation system. Just not being under that toxic load of stress probably did me a world of good. We also moved to Colorado, which was an incredibly restorative environment for me. I started playing outside more, being in nature more, reading about things other than pain more - all those things played a major role in my recovery (not being pain free, just being 'better' as I define it).
Pain science certainly helped make all that possible, though, as I wasn't as worried that I was destroying my hip through movement, so it's impossible to say what elements helped and to what extent! Trying to figure it all out can drive one mad.
All that to say, I think you are on a good path right now. You are strong, adaptable, resilient. Keep doing things that bring you joy. The fog will keep lifting, and you will get back to a life you love and enjoy.
I'd love to stay in touch, to hear how you're doing. And thanks again so much for finding me and for sharing some of your own story!
"My pain stayed the same for a really long time, it was just my life getting bigger around that was the big change."
This resonates. Thanks for taking the time to explain and expand. Hearing each others stories is so valuable. Isolation hurts, connection helps.
Thank you for this kind and generous share. The ability to get curious and explore different options for care is crucial, I think. As a physical therapist, it is vital for me to listen and see the whole person. You are not just your hip, but I can’t tell how embarrassed I am to admit that I have lost sight of the human in front of me and seen only their hip far more times than I care to recount. This is a gentle reminder for me to listen, collaborate and use my skills for good.
What a wonderful comment to read this morning, Sharon! Thanks so much for taking the time to share your thoughts and experiences. I'm so happy the post can serve as a gentle reminder, and also want to remind you to be kind and gracious with yourself, too. We all lose sight of the humans in front of us at times, or don't have the capacity to get curious in particular moments, but as long as we can keep bringing ourselves back to our common humanity, our curiosity, and our ability to use our skills for good, we're doing pretty damn good.
Thanks again for sharing here, it's comments and discussion like this that keeps me in this game!
Great article! The why... Yet always the invitation of being curious.
Thanks so much, Amber! I love that framing of the why being an invitation to be curious!